New Meds

It's been awhile again. I wish I could report that my absence between posts meant things are improving, but that's not exactly the case.

As you may remember, I have been taking Xanax to help me during "panic" situations. According to my doctor, Xanax is supposed to a "band-aid" medicine, to get you over a temporary hump until you feel better.

Well, my temporary hump has turned into a long, straight road. I was taking the full dose of Xanax three times a day (the maximum my doctor prescribed) to help me tolerate every day's challenges. If I didn't take my dose, my panic symptoms would return. I started a three-times-a-day regimen to help get things under control. It worked, but it's been going on too long.

So, my doctor has placed me on an anti-depressant called Celexa, which has a fairly good success rate for helping people with panic disorders. I have been taking it for a week and dealing with the annoying side effects, such as stomach pains, insomnia, hot flashes and increased anxiety (isn't that the kicker?).

The side effects should wear off in another week, and then I should start seeing results (and taking less Xanax) within another two weeks. I am remaining optimistic about Celexa because of its high success rate.

On the therapy front, I am enjoying a wonderful 30-minute meditation/visualization CD created by a local therapist. It really puts me at ease, especially when I feel those panic symptoms coming on. And I am really focusing on "slowing down," which is helping a lot!

I will keep you posted on the Celexa treatment. Thanks for stopping by!

Feeling better

I have been negligent on my posting to this blog. When I started it, I thought it would be something I would post to every day or two, but life has kept me busy.

Overall, I am feeling better. I am now taking my medication on a six-hour interval throughout the day. I started this regiment about 10 days ago, and I only had one (small) panic episode. I managed this episode successfully with breathing exercises and mindful thinking.

I am not sure how much longer I will continue this medicinal regiment, but I will give it several weeks and see how I feel.

Additionally, I've tried to slow down and not rush myself. I don't streak through yellow lights; I try to get ready for work at a slower pace; I make lists to help me remember.

And I can't forget Time. It's been several weeks now, and I am guessing that time will heal these wounds too.

Thanks to everyone who stops by and leaves a message of support. It's nice to know people are out there.

Just breathe....

I am almost done with Simple Meditation and Relaxation by Joel and Michelle Levey. This has been an enormously helpful book for me. I will write a formal review once I complete it, but I wanted to share some breathing exercises that I learned from this book.

Count to Ten

This was hard for me at first. I would lose my focus before I reached the mid-way point. The idea is to breathe in (thinking good thoughts) and then breathe out (ridding bad thoughts) for a count of ten. It requires a lot of concentration, but I am getting better at it.

As I improve, I am adding a focus on my tailbone at the top and bottom of each breath. It's trickier than it seems!

The Nine-Part Breath

This breathing exercise requires that you inhale through one nostril then exhale through the other (taking turns) for a count of three.

Left nostril, inhale; Right nostril, exhale

Left nostril, inhale; Right nostril, exhale

Left nostril, inhale; Right nostril, exhale

Right nostril, inhale; Left nostril, exhale

Right nostril, inhale; Left nostril, exhale

Right nostril, inhale; Left nostril, exhale

Then breathe in though both nostrils for another three times

While inhaling, imagine your body being filled with a white light (positive energy). And while exhaling, imagine a reddish gas leaving your nostrils, taking all of the negative energy with it.

This one also requires a lot of concentration but is easier than counting to ten.

What are your favorite breathing exercises?

My Current Treatment

Isn't it true that the best place to start is at the beginning?

Over the past several weeks, I have been experiencing panic attacks with the classic physical symptoms: chest tightness, fullness in my throat, tingly sensations in my extremities, the flight response and general, gut-wrenching fear.

I believe (as do my medical professionals) that my panic attacks are a result of a recent injury called costochondritis, which is the inflammation of the cartilage in my rib cage (sternum). The pain from costochondritis is much like a heart attack. My initial cardiovascular tests were fine, so my doctor knew I was not having a heart attack, but she couldn't figure out what was causing my pain and other symptoms.

After a trip to the ER, which was a scary adventure, I was diagnosed with costochondritis. I was relieved to have a diagnosis finally, but the Panic Train had already left the station. And it's been spinning around the Brain Track ever since.

I have been taking Xanax to help me. Without a doubt, when I feel the chest fullness coming on (my first sign of a panic attack), I reach for Xanax. I take half of a pill, and within 20-30 minutes, I feel fine. If I wait too long before taking Xanax, then the other panic signs come on, and Xanax has a harder time "fixing" my symptoms.

What frustrates me is that I would like to utilize non-medicinal methods to allay my panic attacks, but so far, nothing has helped. Only Xanax. My therapist assured me that this is okay. Just like it will take my rib cage 6-8 weeks to heal, so too will my brain need time to recondition to a less panicky state.

Patience, it seems, will be an important part of my treatment plan.

I have, however, found great solace in music. And thanks to a wonderful fellow book blogger who sent me music that helps her relax, I have some nice selections in my iPod to help me relax through music.

What's next? I will be going to therapy every two weeks. I will continue with the Xanax. And I will be reading more about mindful thinking and relaxation techniques.

I am especially interested in mindful thinking because I believe it will not only help my panic attacks but also help me to control my other life stressers. Before my health issue, my life cup was right at the rim, and when another stresser came along, my cup runneth over. I have to keep that level down a notch or two - to allow some buffer for those inevitable life stressers that will come back into my life.

Blogging about my anxiety will help too. Thanks for stopping by and reading. You are part of my therapeutic journey, even in this small way.